Archive for August, 2011

It can be a distressing experience trying to tell people who haven’t had cancer how it feels, no matter where you are on the journey.  However, this can be especially true for people who are in remission. 

Popular mythology is that you’re okay now, you’re better, so why aren’t you celebrating?  Even the survivor often thinks this way and then feels guilty because this isn’t how it feels for him or her.

The reality is that as more people survive cancer, it is becoming apparent that survivorship has its own challenges.  Often there are lifelong side effects as a result of treatment and while it’s great that you survived, your new life can be very different to your pre-cancer one.

Even if most side effects eventually disappear it can take a long time to recover your energy and feel up to tackling the most mundane tasks.  The shock felt after receiving a diagnosis of a life threatening illness and the uncertainty about whether it will come back can take years to come to terms with. 

Cancer treatment isn’t something anyone would volunteer for and the various regimens for it can be brutal.  The onslaught of surgery, toxic drugs and radiation very often leaves psychological as well as physical scars.

The best way to deal with this is to talk with others who really do understand: fellow survivors.  By being able to express all your feelings about your cancer journey to people who have shared that experience is a valuable way of making sense of it.  This can be a great help when trying to work out what your new normal is and finding ways of accepting that.

With the best will in the world, it is impossible for people who have not been through it to really understand. Join a support group as soon as you can; you will find help and encouragement throughout the whole process.  However, it is never too late to join a support group. 

One man joined Life Force 16 years after his diagnosis and discovered why he hadn’t felt truly alive for all that time – he had never had anywhere to process what he’d been through.  He found somewhere that he was able to express his grief at the loss of youthful exhuberance and ambitions and was eventually able to formulate new hopes and dreams with a better understanding of what he could now bring to those.

Never be afraid to ask for help if you are struggling.  It's a sign of strength, not weakness, and shows a willingness to do whatever you can to get your life back on track.

Jane Gillespie – Counsellor & Life Force Support Group Facilitator